Tug of War

I find that parenting (or maybe just mothering) is a mind battle...constantly torn between

There's so much you must learn vs. I'm expecting too much and pushing too hard.

It starts before they're even born with all those terrible questions and advice about what to eat, when to eat it, how much to eat it, do I deliver in a hospital or at home, do I bottle feed, how much formula will scar my child for life, will she remember the pain from this diaper rash, shouldn't he know his colors by now, will she ever learn to flush, we obsess about all these details all day, every day.

But the kind of parenting we do now brings this obsessing to entirely new levels.  There are so many (truly valid) reasons to substantiate every behavior, every reaction, every challenge.      
     Do you avoid eye contact because you haven't attached yet or is it cultural?
     Is it just the language barrier?
     Maybe something cognitive keeps you from paying attention or remembering what we've asked?
     Are too many choices overwhelming you?

Where do I find the balance between benefit of the doubt and teaching you to be responsible?

Last week, we explained our parenting responsibilties as follows...
1.  Keep you relatively safe.
2.  Give you God.
3.  Teach you how to become a responsible, independent, successful member of society.

The URM program clearly focuses on preparing these kids for entering independent adulthood and beign able to sustain themselves.  Learn English, gain some work skills, make a life for yourself in America.  Some days it seems that the time Ruth and Nancy have as URMs is unending and we have plenty of time to impart each lesson.  Other days, we begin to feel the pressure of preparing Ruth for what lies ahead and with that pressure comes the mind battle...